Rhythmic symmetry written in memory…

My Stuff/Originals

I’ve been doing some corrections with my life and myself.


For The Malaysia I Once Knew

KUALA LUMPUR, May 22 – Several Islamic leaders have questioned the loyalty of non-Muslims in the country, declaring today the community’s rights must be re-evaluated if Malaysia is to call itself an Islamic state.

Former president of Islamic Da’wah Foundation Malaysia (Yadim), Datuk Nakhaie Ahmad, said treatment of non-Muslims must be based on the social contract agreed and pointed out that the government has been too gracious to the community.

“In attempts to get vote and support of non-Muslims, we have been very gracious in giving them their civil rights. Civil rights given to them includes the rights to vote, participation in politics, hold office, involvement in the military and so forth but we cannot just willingly give them everything.

“Our offer must be based on religious practices. If we look at the prophet’s agreement in the Madinah constitution, civil rights were given to the Jews but the rights must be paid back with responsibility. They must have the responsibility and agree to defend our country and not insult the agreement,” he said during a forum on “Membina Negara Sejahtera” organised by the Persatuan Ulama Malaysia here.

Former prime minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad declared Malaysia an Islamic state a decade ago in a move to counter PAS’ growing influence among the country’s key Malay Muslim population.

The issue cropped up this month when several groups asked for amendments to the Federal Constitution to stipulate only Muslims can be the prime minister after Utusan Malaysia carried an unsubstantiated report of a Christian plot to usurp Islam’s position as religion of the federation.

Nakhaie stressed that non-Muslims that have broken the social contract must be expelled from the country and asked the government to adopt a tough approach in safeguarding Muslim interest.

“If the agreement is broken then actions must be taken against them. If they break our agreement then they are our enemy and must be expelled from the country. We must not compromise with them. We must be stern with them when it comes to the social contract agreed,” he said.

Nakhaie added it is important that high level government positions not be awarded to non-Muslims for national security.

“We cannot give them important government position as it is not allowed for non-Muslims to become ministers in a Islamic state. Head of military must also not be given to non-Muslims.

“Without thinking about the future of our country, we are so willing to give them everything. Granting them their civil rights must be balanced with Islamic preaching so they will understand justice in Islam and the Islamic system,” said the former PAS member who defected to Umno years ago.

He also warned Muslims to unite as non-Muslims will become stronger if the community continues to quarrel among themselves.

“They are brave now and are willing to say anything because they are becoming dominant. They (non-muslim political parties) are only working with us to only achieve their goals. It is a marriage of convenience. We know what is their programme. We are already losing economically and now we want to give political rights?” he asked.

Ikatan Muslimin Malaysia’s (ISMA) deputy president Zamri Hashim added that Muslims must look beyond political affiliation for a common greater cause.

“We must think outside of politics. The Malay agenda is too important to ignore and a majority of Malays are Muslims. This is no longer about PAS and Umno,” said the Perak deputy Mufti.

Malaysian Islamic Youth Movement (Abim) deputy president, Dr Mohd Rumaizuddin Ghazali, also stressed that Malaysia must never become a secular state.

“This is why many non-Muslim politicians want to declare the country as a secular state because then the government will not have fund religious programmes.

“They are scared that if we accept Malaysia as an Islamic state then there are many implications which means that only Muslims have the right to lead the country,” he said.

Mohd Rumaizuddin added that the Malays are beginning to be trampled on and non-Muslims are starting to take advantage of the community.

“Because of politics, we are still not free after more than 50 years of independence,” he said.

Hizbut Tahrir Malaysia president Abdul Hakim Othman added the country’s constitution must be replaced as it has been stained by the colonial British.

“A Caliphate state is based on divine revelation. It is not a democratic or a theocratic state. It is only an Islamic state when the constitution is based on the Quran and prophetic traditions,” he said.

Rubbish.

For the very little about politics that I actually comprehend, this is my two cents.

My name is Sam, and I am like any other born-and-raised Malaysian young adult. I am 19-going-on-20 and I started becoming a racist about a rough 4 or 5 years anti-clockwise. I went to a sub-government Chinese primary school, and then a government (SMK) secondary school. I was a bully, I was bullied, I cut class, I had my better grades, horrible grades, overly-dramatic high-school “relationships” – I was and still am not too different from any of our nation’s growing minds and talents.

Our nation’s growing minds and talents – which, allow me to add – we are losing. Very quickly. “The country is getting brain-drained,” an adult I confided in very often about the petty political issues I knew about mentioned. “What do you mean?” “They are losing minds. Brains. Talents. People who venture overseas these days rarely return to serve the country. Why would they, anyway?” The future is so much brighter and prospects are of a much larger variety overseas, we’ve been told. I wish I could disagree, say No, but who are we kidding really?

Malaysians, young and middle-aged, are making their marks – and not in a small, unsubstantial way – all around the globe. Had you stayed back and read as the credits rolled after a silver-screen film has concluded,  you would’ve caught a glimpse of a couple – if not a handful – of names belonging to young, thriving Malaysians. Or read the headlines of a local newspaper and read on about a Malaysian who has yet again “made the nation proud” with his/her achievements – e.g. The recently-appointed Finance Minister of Australia, etc. Made the country proud, really? I am only thankful of such people for the sole reason being the inspiration and assurance they give me, to know that there is indeed a better future out there, one that we truly deserve.

What’s ironic, I find, in these “Ex-Malaysians who have made it overseas” is in the very headline itself. Ex-Malaysians. Or at least, Malaysians living overseas. Would they have been given the opportunity to go to the extent of their potential, had they stayed in their home country? No – There is simply no argument to this very obvious and unfortunate answer. Are we really gaining – pride, in this case – or losing talents to other nations who are more ungrudging and willing to give their potentials a chance to bloom and maybe, just maybe, take flight?

So tell me, who are these “Islamic leaders”, to tell us where our stand in this country is? This is our country, and not a single percent more of theirs than ours. If we’re talking religious and spiritual roles, tell me who are these people to play God and tell us what we deserve or don’t deserve? Just because we were born with a choice to believe or not believe(which I have found to be very much to my advantage), supposedly means we are less deserving than you, a believer? I feel sorry. Really.

Christian fellowships are banned in (selective) schools, yet we have “Kelab Agama Islam”, “Unit Uniform Puteri Islam”. Fellowships and a peaceful meeting of people who share the same belief – a belief in peace, mind you – are raided and put to a halt for “disrupting peace and national security”. All this while ridiculous, appalling statements like these are allowed to run free in print, audio or video. ISA would be for once put to use in good effort and objective if these people are finally arrested for their racist, peace-disrupting sentiments towards Malaysians.

The Malaysian Chinese are deemed “racist”, but are we really? I know I certainly can be. I have been molded into this angry(Angry, not angsty), frustrated, and very disappointed young adult – by none other than people like you. With you, I have came to realization that it is truly so much easier to be angry than disappointed. Disappointment is no doubt the more painful, and I am so very disappointed in the Malaysia that allowed us to fall into this pit.

I watched a P. Ramlee short film the other night, and I was reminded of all the good that Malaysia once was, albeit before my time. Men drank alcohol, enjoyed dancing to music as leisure; Women wore low-cut, tight-fitting Kebayas, and nobody was raped or cheated on! I was enlightened about the Malaysia that mom and dad have often shared with me, about their childhood and color-blindness of people back then. The Malaysia that is in my blood. The Malaysia, that I now look forward to washing out of my system, in the very near future.

I now answer, “My grandfathers are Chinese. As in, from China”, if ever questioned about my roots. I have changed my ‘hometown’ on Facebook from “Klang, Malaysia” to “Shantou, Guangdong(China)”. And occasionally, “Chinese, and hopefully future American-Chinese, or perhaps British,” I am ashamed but those were my exact words.

Meanwhile, while some are busy being household “whores”, I am working my way OUT – to the future I deserve – before the place I once proudly called home turns into a clone of the backward Middle Eastern countries, or worse. This could be the end of the Malaysia we’ve known, loved and cherished as you know it. Would you be there to break her fall, and later mold her back in place?

//P.S. I had a tight clique consisting of Indian, Chinese, Punjabi, Malay and Eurasian girls and boys in secondary school. We disagreed, fought, were complete drama queens(and kings). We were also the best of friends.
//P.P.S. I am dating a Muslim guy of mixed parentage, and despite religion – or the lack of choice on his end – I am completely in love with him. He is not your typical tall, dark, handsome, suave guy, but he is my best friend and my pillar of strength. The future is uncertain, age and the lack of maturity on both sides(Yes, we know we’re young!) as the few small reasons, and the biggest obstacle being how religion has been abused in the least modest ways – Making it nothing but a political control tool, and everything but love for God.


3:59a.m. – It’s been a long day of last minute final assignments; May tomorrow have mercy on my fellow ICOMers. Goodnight all.



Something I hold true to.


Stuffy red Ruldoph-esque nose. Red eyes. Blocked ears. Heavy head.   vs    Acoustics ICA#2 DONE, ICS Tribute to Disney rehearsals ongoing.

Shoot me. But I’m not complaining. It beats being idle anyday :]


Death, opting for cremation and the existence of my ‘will’

I’ve been feeling very ‘Me’ and its been very consistent – That’s a very comforting thought, to know that this current persona is here to stay, to know that I’ve finally found ‘Me’.

I just spent three hours sitting at the dining table talking to mom and my siblings about death and dying.

I’ve never been one to fear death. The only fear that came associated with death that’s ever plagued my mind was the things I’d want to say but wouldn’t have the chance to again, along with all the things I’ve never gotten to do before I die. I used to be one of them – The rather stereotypical teenage girl who couldn’t wait to ‘end’ her life because it was ‘too painful to bear’. But as I sat at the table after dinner speaking my thoughts about dying, I realized how much that has changed. Of course I don’t want to die! It’s too eary, and there’s so much I want to say and do but haven’t.

There has been deaths surrounding me lately, a number bigger than the usual/average. Death was something I deemed somewhat unfamiliar, like stepping on uncharted foreign ground. Funny how all that changed in just a couple of months. I’ve since found that the only way to deal with the death of a person is to simply become numb. Having said that, though, of late I find myself wondering when is my turn.

When we were younger they’d always tell us to ‘Treat everyone as if they were dying tomorrow”, or “Always show your appreciation for your loved ones because today might be their last”. I only began finding truth in statements like these of late, and though finally finding realization is favourable, I couldn’t help but ask – Am I too late?

That aside, I’ve always had a ‘will’, ever since I was ten. Speaking of which it’s rather disturbing to know that I’ve been plagued by thoughts of death since young age. But yeah, I’ve always had the thought of leaving some ‘guidance’ and ‘support’ to how my things, emotions and even my bleeding funeral should be dealt with. Heck, I even had a list of “Who not to invite to my funeral” stapled on top of my “Who not to allow into my funeral” list, of which I’ve destroyed all evidence of.

I’ve been meaning to update my ‘will’ for quite a while now, but haven’t really been in the right frame of mind at the right time because you really need things like ambience and mood to write stuff like a will.* I’ve been pushing it further and deeper into my to-do list that it’s been completely forgotten, and after last night’s post-dinner talk I was all determined about sitting myself down to update my will and post-death documents after the Week 9(next week) ICAs(Which, I will…hopefully).
*You weren’t really expecting my will to be all about who gets to inherit my huge fortune of 1cent coins right?? I have stupid lists like “Stuff I want to say to…”, letters to immediate family members and those I hold dear to me, and also the most important list of all – Who gets my priceless stuff like my bolster, blanket, iPod, blah, bleh, bluh…

This probably sounds really clichéd and all that but really, how could you be so sure that you’re even going to live through the next week? I guess I finally came to realize how unpredictable (and short) living could be. And no I do not believe in going to ‘heaven’ or ‘hell’ or that “life on earth is only temporary” so once I die I’m just going to get cremated and made into diamonds(more about that in a bit) and the rest of my ashes will be strewn across the Galway/Surrey countryside.

So about the being cremated part, I’m actually serious. This is going to sound so silly but I’ve always had the idea that crazy out-of-this-world stuff can sometimes happen e.g. You’re buried and three days later you suddenly decide to wake up and find yourself confined in that little coffin with no water, food and minimal air blah, blah and there is no friggin’ way you can get out!! So I’ve always wanted to be cremated. And ever since, technology has caught up and did you know that your ashes can now be turned into diamonds?? I’m not being materialistic here because diamonds made out of your ashes are worthless and the only reason why I’d want that would be so my immediate family would have something to remember me by besides all the nonsense like my bolster blah, blah. So yeah that’ll be four pieces of diamonds for Mom, Dad, Steffi and Marcus. And the rest just take a drive to Galway/Surrey, wind down the window and let it fly hahahah. No I’m actually serious.

I’m suddenly got in the mood to turn everything into lame jokes so I better leave the rest for another day.


(Untitled)

Verse 1:
I can’t sleep, I can’t breathe
With you tonight
I fall weak, weak on my knees

And I weep, ’till my own disguise
Comes to rob me of my

Bridge :
Sanity
I want you to stay the night
Hold me close
Let the world walk by

And after spending the entire day seated, fighting the backache with the guitar I haven’t touched for a while – I still cannot come up with a suitable chorus.

Well I always knew the first ever song with lyrics I’d come up with would have to do with sappy heartbreaks. Bleh.


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